Sometimes It’s Good To Be A Yes Man

posted by
klnappier
in
Religion
on
March 31, 2009 - 10:33am

Hubby and I were visiting an old video mentor, via DVD, not long ago: a gift from a friend who knew we were long-time fans. The DVD was Bill Moyers’ PBS classic "Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth." Let me tell you, in spite of the ‘80's graphics and Professor Campbell’s suit jacket, this wonderful discourse on spirituality, myth and society is as relevant today as it was over twenty years ago. Maybe more so.

It has always intrigued me when, in reopening old treasures, certain nuggets are somehow more lustrous than they seemed the first time around. In the case of the series’ "Episode Two: The Message of the Myth," one of those nuggets shined forth. It was a segment in which Campbell and Moyers were discussing the knotty dilemma of saying “yes” to an existence that is an inconceivable tangle of joy and suffering, love and hate, comedy and tragedy. Campbell pointed out that we all dole out our share of each of the above. As I interpret it, Professor Campbell’s stance was that we must accept life, to quote him. “just the way it is.”

Twenty-some years ago, when I had first considered Campbell’s point of view, I puzzled over how, exactly, to do that: accept life “just the way it is.” It struck me as too passive a solution. And when Moyers questioned him, wondering if such a philosophy leads to nihilism, Campbell’s reply about stepping up to participate in the fight didn’t seem sufficient either.

But, now, I think I might have the answer. See what you think:

First, the root of the dilemma: The overwhelming majority of suffering we experience today in the world is a result of generations upon generations of humanity refusing to say “yes” to how life is. From the smallest irritations that pester us daily, to our serious personal torments, to the most profoundly obscene injustices of history and the present, our inability to say “yes” spreads another layer of suffering over the deep strata of world-wide pain that has built up over the eons.

It can't be denied that our mental reflex is to flinch from the agony, rail against the outrage or clamber to turn back the clock to a time before an atrocity happened. But this mental reflex impedes our ability to either create or participate in solutions. This has been going on since Man became sentient and has a cumulative effect.

You can tell the difference between those who say “yes” to the conditions of life from those who say “no.” It’s in their actions. “Yes” actions tend to be non-violent, solution-based and self-healing. “No” actions tend to be violent, retaliatory and self-destructive. The majority of our struggles with alcoholism and drug addiction have their roots in “no.” Emotional suffering as our bodies sicken and die is “no.” Physical and mental abuse is “no.” Suicide is “no.” Terrorism is “no.” Unspeakably oppressive governments are “no.”

Even that short list above is an overflowing plate of “no,” isn’t it? I mean, whoa! Man! How can little ol’ me- or even a whole army of little ol’ me’s- hope to strip mine this terrible trash heap of “no” that’s been piling up for eons?

Answer: We don’t. We can’t strip away the past. It’s done, it’s happened. Instead, we start saying “yes” to how life is in our time, right here, right now and aim at not adding our own layer to the strata.

How? That depends are what kind of person you are. Are you a big thinker? Then go do big "yes" things. End wars, find cures, stop hunger. With respect and admiration, I bow to you. Most of us, however, are little thinkers. So our task is to do little "yes" things. When little "yes" things hit critical mass, they grow into profoundly affirmative events. If you find that hard to believe, here’s a few examples for you:

The unsung masses of the Women’s Suffrage Movement. Rosa Parks’ nonviolent refusal to give up her bus seat. The People Power Revolution of the Philippines. The Toppling of the Berlin Wall.

None of these are examples of saying “no” to anything. They are “YES” in capital letters: Yes, this is the way things are now. What can I do to bring about change?

I should warn you, though. If you haven’t already had the experience- then even while basking in all the big or small “yes's” that you may do- “no” lies in wait, hoping to catch you on an off day. It is part of our nature, and you will have to reckon with it sooner or later. It will resurface when you feel thwarted, frustrated, angered, ignored, refused or humiliated. When that happens, try to remember this line from theologian Rienhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer,” a word spell that can help you transform that “no” into a “yes”:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."Yes Man